Deeper Devotion is a website for Christian students. We offer articles, daily devotions, music reviews and other resources to help you mature in your walk with God.
April 11, 2008
My High School Crush
I never dated in high school, but I had one major crush that lasted from sophomore to senior year. Kelly had beautiful blonde hair, sparkling green eyes, and a gorgeous smile. I wanted to date Kelly more than any girl I knew. She was quiet and mysterious. She never threw herself at boys. She never brought attention to herself, but I was always paying attention to her. I wrote a love poem to her that I always kept in my back pocket, waiting for the opportunity to give it to her.
Near the middle of my senior year, I realized I was running out of opportunities to pursue Kelly. In a matter of months I was heading off to college, probably never to return…unless I had a reason to. I decided to run track in the spring because Kelly did and I wanted to be around her. I hated running so I did the pole vault. (As a side note, the pole vault is not something you just decide to do on a whim—you either end up looking stupid, getting hurt, or both. Luckily for me, I only looked stupid.) I went to track meets, tried my hardest to pole vault, and watched Kelly.
Prom time rolled around and I decided it was my last chance. I called Kelly up and asked her to the prom. She said yes! Kelly looked beautiful on prom night and I loved just being with her. On the way to our After Prom we sat silent, driving through the dark countryside. My hearting was beating straight through my chest. I realized this was the only time I would ever have Kelly’s complete attention—I had to tell her how I felt about her. Finally, I broke the silence. I tried to explain my feelings, stumbling over my words, and Kelly just sat there watching me. I bombed. We got to After Prom and things were awkward the rest of the night.
At track practice the next Monday, one of the good-looking athletes on the track team walked up to me. He said he wanted to date Kelly and asked for my permission. I was speechless. What was I going to say? No?
The next day we had a track meet and word came that they were seeing each other. On the dark bus ride home I sat in stunned silence. I pulled the love letter to Kelly out of my pocket. I stared at it for a while—then I took a bite, chewed, and swallowed. I took another bite, and then another. I bit off piece after piece, word after word, washing it all down with Powerade until the entire piece of paper was gone.
Kelly would never read my love letter.
I’ve learned a lot about girls, relationships, and myself since then. I know that sometimes you just have to learn things the hard way and even if you heard the truth you might not listen, but if I could go back in time, this is what I would tell myself:
Can you hear a piece of advice from one guy who’s been there? Don’t crush. Kelly was not the girl God had for me even though I desperately wanted her to be. Yes, it’s inevitable that you’re going to like people—there’s nothing wrong with that! God designed us to be attracted to the opposite sex and to desire relationship. But focus your attention on building friendships, not fantasies. Exhibit true love, which is sacrificial action. Pray that God would make that girl or guy you like more like him, not that God would make them talk to you. Encourage all your brothers and sisters in Christ, don’t just compliment that one guy or girl on how amazingly attractive they are. I spent so much time, energy, and emotion crushing on a girl and now there’s nothing to show for it—not even a love letter.
Originally published February, 2005
A reality TV show reveals what you can expect from the world when you take a stand for Christ.
It’;s so easy to crush. But is it right? Jeremy Smith shares about his high school crush and what he’s learned.
The obesity level in the United States continues to climb in 49 out of 50 states. How do we as Christians respond to this issue?
This is a set of 5 devotions centered on the importance of missions and evangelism. How Will They Know is a great resource for short-term mission trips. Download the free PDF
We offer many other downloads in our Resources section.